Coffee Maker Repair Dude...

Early December was not treating Biker Dude nicely. It was too cold to bike to work, but instead of sleeping later, he still got up as if he was going to ride.Which all meant that when he drove, he arrived at work much earlier than normal.

He keyed himself in and shuffled across the cold concrete factory floor to his desk. He took his jacket off and hung it on the back of his chair and poked a finger at the ON button of the computer. He missed. He shut his eyes and rubbed them. Shook his head, opened his eyes, aimed, and poked again. The computer lit up, beeped at him, and soft ticking and zapping sounds came from within as the electronic circuits and programming came to life. Before the login screen had a chance to show its face, he'd grabbed two empty cherry coke bottles, and made his way to the cafeteria. To his friend and salvation.

The coffeemaker.

He flipped the light on and there it sat. Empty. Dang. Usually there was enough leftover from the day before to microwave. Not today.

He popped the top open and lifted out the filter holder. Then he dumped out the grounds and filled the carafe with water. Threw a filter in, six scoops of Folgers, poured the water into the maker and pushed the start button.

After five long seconds, the coffeemaker started making a bubbling sound. Like it had asthma. Then the breathing became steadier. Water heated up and flowed. Like Frankenstein twitching his fingertips... like a car just started when it's below zero, or like the computer booting up, it slowly came to life.

Biker Dude waited. He rubbed his eyes some more and leaned against the counter top.

Off to the side of the coffee maker lay a black piece of plastic. Biker Dude picked it up. Hmmm.. what the heck was this? It kind of looked like a black mushroom. Or a petrified mini jellyfish. It had a shaft and around the shaft, a spring. The mushroom's "cap" was about as big around as a quarter. He pondered the piece from all angles as the coffee maker hissed and popped and coffee tinkled from the filter above into the carafe.

A toaster sat nearby on the counter top. Mostly chrome but with black plastic knobs for setting the toasting time. Biker Dude tried fitting the mushroom piece onto the toaster. He worked the toaster levers to see if something was broken. He even picked it up to see if the plastic piece had fallen out the bottom of it.

All looked okay. The piece didn't really go with the toaster anyway. Not artistically at least. It was more of a art nouveau style, where the toaster was art deco. More sharp and angular lines.
The knobs weren't rounded either, more like crowned. He set the piece down. The coffee was still brewing but there was enough in the carafe to fill his bottles. He reached for the carafe.

When he took it from the heating pad, coffee poured down from the filter holder and onto the heating pad. Steam shot up. The coffee crackled and popped. Dang!

He looked underneath to where there was usually some sort of stopper mechanism. All there was was a hole. Coffee streamed through from above and onto the burner.

All that perfectly good caffeine going to waste.

He grabbed a handful of paper towels, which fortunately sat within reach, and sopped up the still spilling coffee. He replaced the carafe and cursed.

Then he stopped his cursing and thought.

He came up with a new strategy. He hit the on off switch, and waited for the remaining water to use itself up.

Now he knew what the mushroom thing was for. It was so a person could remove the carafe while the coffee was still brewing.

When the remaining water was used up, biker Dude dumped the grounds and filter into the garbage can and took the filter holder out. Nothing but an open hole. No wonder. This spring and mushroom are parts of the coffee maker. But something was missing. They fit, but the pieces that had held them to the filter holder were gone.

He scrounged in the bottom of the garbage can. In the grounds he had earlier thrown out. Among stale popcorn and the remains of somebody's mashed potatoes. There was half a baloney sandwich.. some wilted lettuce. Stray pizza crusts and empty pop cans and bottles... along with a few other items he thought he was just imagining.

But damn. No coffee maker part.

Not good.

He could do one of two things.

Tell the office administrator the coffee pot was broken. But she wouldn't be in for another two hours.

Or...

Fix it himself.


He rose to the challenge.

He studied the part and how it fit into the filter holder. He searched his mind for something that would work, then cross referenced it with parts he knew were available here at work. At home this would be no problem. He was known for keeping a supply of "improvisable hardware" as he called it. But he wasn't at home. Dang again.

He needed something with a rubber seal, preferably a disc, and if too large, able to be trimmed to size. He also needed a sort of clip or a holder to keep the seal in place. The holder was easy. In the tool cabinet sat a case with an assortment of O-rings. Dozens of different sizes. One would fit perfectly at the base of the mushroom and hold the seal in place against the spring. He found the right size in half a minute.

The other thing, the rubber seal, would be the challenge.

He thought a while more. Even closing his eyes to "see" the part in his mind's eye. Like Jimmy Neutron, he went into "think" mode.

Then his eyes popped open and lit up. He knew what he had to do.

In the absence of duct tape and a Swiss army knife. Without a supply of rubber bands or paper clips... although a paper clip would have worked nicely instead of an O-ring, just wouldn't have looked as professional... he used what he knew worked on all brands and styles of coffee makers he'd ever come across.

He'd fixed his girlfriend's coffee pot with one once.
The universal coffee maker repair part. Able to be trimmed and drilled and shaped into exactly what one needs in times of emergency...

a plastic pop bottle top.